No New Year's Resolutions

Although there are several goals I'd like to accomplish this year, I can't say that I will commit any of them to being New Year's Resolutions. That's just a false start and the makings of failure, I think.

As we scramble to find some entertainment for the night that will be baby-friendly, it cements in my mind the urgent need for us to meet more families. All of our single friends have their plans and will be enjoying another evening of drunken revelry. Sadly, we won't be hugging our toilets this year. We will probably be giving raspberries and eating ice cream as the year goes out.

Really, I can't complain about it because my daughter is the best human being in the world, I think. But, in a city where most people wait until their careers are in full swing before reproducing, a young couple like us is a bit lost in the mix. So we have to work even harder to find our niche. And work it is. So much so that we are fairly demoralized about it and haven't been trying much at all.

Feeling sorry for ourselves is not an option, though, especially since we have everything you could want to make a nice life and there are people trying to figure out how to drink the water their corpses lie in. I mean, really. To forget all these little troubles and to find a way to commingle with the humanity tonight, we consult the bible of socialization: Zagat survey.

In the meantime, I still think about how I am going to actually get off my ass and do something great this year. No resolutions, but hopefully evolution. I must progress to amphibious, at least, and start breathing the air instead of drowning in my own stagnant sea.

Purity

My closest companion in the world sleeps beside me and I am relieved. She's tall, not quite three feet. Despite all my hangups and inner turmoil, I am pure and loving with her. Whatever happened before in my life doesn't matter because she only knows what I teach her and how I relate to her. She brings out the best in me. Thank God.

After the mess of complicated social involvements in my life, it's absolutely thrilling to not give a holy crap whether I've been politically correct or worn the right ensemble on any given day. It doesn't matter whether I look like a complete train wreck or like Christy Turlington, when I awake and our eyes meet, she's overjoyed to see me. I have a swarm of ambitions, emotions and frustrations mixing in my head, but I know have already achieved something that I will never in my life overshadow. I have become a wonderful mother and, by it, a stronger person. In a sense, what came before only exists in my memory, my life will be remembered and defined through what passes before her eyes.